I promised myself I would get back into the swing of daily blogging, not for the purpose of reciting my dumb stories, but mainly because I need to practice how to tell them if I want to be Tina Fey someday. So bare with me as I practice her Bossypants style. I need to do this chapter by chapter and idea by idea, because I tend to be all over the place. Oh! look an ant. And half the time people stop listening to me before I even open my mouth; cut to the Chase Manfull. I'll probably begin my future book with a little background information, casual this-that's that no one really cares about but feel obligated to read. I'll probably being by saying that I'm from Iowa, which is where the readers smile will fade and they'll picture me as a corn cob driving a tractor for the following pages. Then I'll make up some facts because my mom stopped putting things in the baby book at the age of four (she's cool. I like her). I'll have to improvise and say that...