Skip to main content

Bring it Back

I promised myself I would get back into the swing of daily blogging, not for the purpose of reciting my dumb stories, but mainly because I need to practice how to tell them if I want to be Tina Fey someday.

So bare with me as I practice her Bossypants style.

I need to do this chapter by chapter and idea by idea, because I tend to be all over the place. Oh! look an ant. And half the time people stop listening to me before I even open my mouth; cut to the Chase Manfull.

I'll probably begin my future book with a little background information, casual this-that's that no one really cares about but feel obligated to read. I'll probably being by saying that I'm from Iowa, which is where the readers smile will fade and they'll picture me as a corn cob driving a tractor for the following pages. Then I'll make up some facts because my mom stopped putting things in the baby book at the age of four (she's cool. I like her). I'll have to improvise and say that I was beyond my years and was reading Junie B. Jones by the age of 2 or something like that.

yeah, that sounds like it should sum up the obligatory part of my past.

Then I'll go ahead and send in my application for Toddlers-in-Tiaras because thats obvious.

Comments

Post a Comment

Popular posts from this blog

Olympic Rings and Emotional Things: What is it about the Olympics that make us ugly cry over sports and athletes we've never heard of?

I'm sitting here on a Wednesday afternoon where, from my couch,  I am transfixed by the multicast view of the Olympics. A quadrant of screens take up the TV where a medal ceremony, men's basketball, skateboarding and a women's soccer game are all happening at the same time. Now, I've always been someone with a love of sports - and it wouldn't be out of the ordinary for me to watch multiple events at the same time, or maybe even grab a stealth peak of the ESPN app to check the score while at a wedding...but to have a quad screen up with multiple sports - even for me, that seems excessive. It got me thinking, what is it about the Olympics that continually captures my attention so fully I can not simply fathom picking ONE of these events to watch? The simple and most obvious answer is that it's fun to watch the world's best athletes compete against each other. You get the super teams, the living legends, the hometown heroes, the underdogs, the record holders - ...
Post a Comment
Read more

Amster...dam(n), that was fun.

I have recently found myself double checking my memories- making sure things really happened, that I actually did the things I think I did, and saw the things I swear I saw, because with all this adventure going on in my life nothing seems real any more; like it's one big dream that I don't want to wake up from. It's a good thing I always carry my Nikon around with me to back up my illusive memories- for proof that my life is actually as exciting as my thoughts tend to illustrate. For the past two days, I found myself in Amsterdam . The best part is, I was able to explore the fascinating place with my friends who flew in from Rome, Florence and London. It was such a glorious feeling to have Katie in my arms, to chow down with Lindsay and Maria, and to do stupid things with Mallory and Heidi- all while being in a foreign (seriously, so foreign) land. Before I landed in the city of canals, I knew very little about it. I suppose research would have been a standard idea, bu...
Post a Comment
Read more

American Idiot

It's like Green Day once said, "I don't want to be an American Idiot". That stupid song has taken over every thought I've had whilst in this foreign land. You see, even though they speak English here, the accents are so thick I often find myself just nodding in agreement followed by a polite giggle after the third time of asking for clarification. For instance when I was at the FINE Wines store (sorry mom and dad), I couldn't understand the cashier and gave up asking the desperate "sorry, what?". Ironically, the only thing I did understand was when he handed me the receipt and under his breath said, "sign your life away here"…he was utterly shocked when I finally heard what he said. Then we briskly left the building, arms full of wine and imminent ragrets  (thats my creed though). But other than being the definition of an American idiot and continuously being told, "Oh, you're American.."(still haven't come up with a cl...
Post a Comment
Read more