You know what's strange about society? We're so quick to point out the flaws of others, but avidly avoid publically admitting any flaws of our own. We post pictures and edit them with filters and angles and clothing designed to make us appear the way we want to be perceived...with the hopes that society won't notice what we're trying to hide underneath it all.
But you know what I'm sick of? Hiding. Ever since I was a young chickadee, I've always felt the need to hide something. From my kindergarten crush laughing at me on the playground, or my 6th grade crush who told me I was fat and ugly, I've always been confident in my personality, just not so much in my appearance. I was constantly dressing like a boy, wearing oversized clothes, anything to detract attention to my figure or my body.
By the time I hit 8th grade, all of a sudden I couldn't keep weight on. After years of being chubby and "unattractive", I didn't know what was happening to my body. The comments people made changed from "are you sure you need to eat that", to "oh my god, eat more!" I had dropped from a 7th grader wearing a size 8, to a high school freshman belting up a size 0 jeans. By the time I was 16 I was experiencing severe pains in my abdomen and back, and decided it was time to go to the doctor. What he told me there began to put everything into perspective.
He told me that I had a gallstone blocking the gallbladder duct, prohibiting any movement from my organ. He told me to schedule surgery as soon as I could because there was a possibility that my gallbladder could explode inside me release poisonous toxins into my system that would end up killing me.
My weight-loss mystery was solved: I was losing so much weight because everything I ate was running right through me (instantly). As the years passed since my surgery, it wasn't hard to notice that my body had began to function normally. I was gaining weight, my skin was showing color, everything was looking up--until I couldn't stabilize my weight, and here we are today.
As I said earlier, I'm sick of hiding. I don't want to lay on the beach with a t-shirt covering up my body- how's a girl gonna get an even tan with that? For years I've been in an uphill battle of weight gain (4 years of college fun--beer and pizza-- didn't seem to help with that), but now that I've graduated and entered the real world it's about time I start taking charge of my body and stop hiding.
I've embarked on multitude of attempted workouts like Insanity, P90X, Title Boxing, KOSAMA, even metabolism boosting pills- but I was never able to fully commit myself to change. I decided it's best, for me anyway, to start small- by doing the 21-day fix. I want to blog weekly about my experience, especially as I enter day 4 of 21 days, to help me keep progress and track my lows and highs. For example, my highs so far: Learning to cook CLEAN foods, and turning down a mid-week beer (ouch). My lows: my body hurts so much from leg day, being cranky from diet adjustments.
But I'm learning. I'm finally figuring out that you can work out all you want, but if you constantly pack your body full of food that isn't fuel...you won't see results. Although I eat fairly healthy, I always took one too many "treat-yourself" opportunities, found excuses to miss my workouts, and I was constantly dining in restaurants or taking it to go. Granted, I hardly ever ordered anything "bad", I wasn't able to properly distribute portions or pay attention to the amount of carbs I was consuming (lots- the answer was lots). Now that I'm cooking my own food, I know exactly what's in it and how much of each product is in it--concept!! I've also learned that you can never seem to have enough water, I'm starting to feel like a mermaid with legs.
Follow along if this is something you might be interested in...it's only 21 days, but I'm hoping it'll push me through it if I start chronicling my experience publically.
But you know what I'm sick of? Hiding. Ever since I was a young chickadee, I've always felt the need to hide something. From my kindergarten crush laughing at me on the playground, or my 6th grade crush who told me I was fat and ugly, I've always been confident in my personality, just not so much in my appearance. I was constantly dressing like a boy, wearing oversized clothes, anything to detract attention to my figure or my body.
By the time I hit 8th grade, all of a sudden I couldn't keep weight on. After years of being chubby and "unattractive", I didn't know what was happening to my body. The comments people made changed from "are you sure you need to eat that", to "oh my god, eat more!" I had dropped from a 7th grader wearing a size 8, to a high school freshman belting up a size 0 jeans. By the time I was 16 I was experiencing severe pains in my abdomen and back, and decided it was time to go to the doctor. What he told me there began to put everything into perspective.
He told me that I had a gallstone blocking the gallbladder duct, prohibiting any movement from my organ. He told me to schedule surgery as soon as I could because there was a possibility that my gallbladder could explode inside me release poisonous toxins into my system that would end up killing me.
My weight-loss mystery was solved: I was losing so much weight because everything I ate was running right through me (instantly). As the years passed since my surgery, it wasn't hard to notice that my body had began to function normally. I was gaining weight, my skin was showing color, everything was looking up--until I couldn't stabilize my weight, and here we are today.
As I said earlier, I'm sick of hiding. I don't want to lay on the beach with a t-shirt covering up my body- how's a girl gonna get an even tan with that? For years I've been in an uphill battle of weight gain (4 years of college fun--beer and pizza-- didn't seem to help with that), but now that I've graduated and entered the real world it's about time I start taking charge of my body and stop hiding.
I've embarked on multitude of attempted workouts like Insanity, P90X, Title Boxing, KOSAMA, even metabolism boosting pills- but I was never able to fully commit myself to change. I decided it's best, for me anyway, to start small- by doing the 21-day fix. I want to blog weekly about my experience, especially as I enter day 4 of 21 days, to help me keep progress and track my lows and highs. For example, my highs so far: Learning to cook CLEAN foods, and turning down a mid-week beer (ouch). My lows: my body hurts so much from leg day, being cranky from diet adjustments.
But I'm learning. I'm finally figuring out that you can work out all you want, but if you constantly pack your body full of food that isn't fuel...you won't see results. Although I eat fairly healthy, I always took one too many "treat-yourself" opportunities, found excuses to miss my workouts, and I was constantly dining in restaurants or taking it to go. Granted, I hardly ever ordered anything "bad", I wasn't able to properly distribute portions or pay attention to the amount of carbs I was consuming (lots- the answer was lots). Now that I'm cooking my own food, I know exactly what's in it and how much of each product is in it--concept!! I've also learned that you can never seem to have enough water, I'm starting to feel like a mermaid with legs.
Follow along if this is something you might be interested in...it's only 21 days, but I'm hoping it'll push me through it if I start chronicling my experience publically.
YOU GO GIRL!! Love you tons!
ReplyDeleteTHANKS KAYS!
DeleteYou rock. So happy for you!
ReplyDelete- That's from me....Ellie McDonald...don't know how to have my name show up there.
DeleteEllie- you're the best, regardless if you're "Unknown" ;)
Delete