Manfull's Handfull

Feels like a three year hiatus is long enough... Full disclosure, I had to literally google search my own blog name because I couldn't remember the correct full name, but here we are. What's meant to be will always find its way back to you (or you know, just google it).  The last three years, for most of us I can assume, have been... challenging. Life straight up came to an abrupt stop. We were fighting for rolls of toilet paper in the aisles of grocery stores while simultaneously trying to maintain six feet of distance from anyone not in our direct social circle. We were inundated with words like, "unprecedented", "mandate", "social distancing". We were forced to do things that made us feel almost alien. PPE became springs latest fashion accessory, Joe Exotic was a household name, hugging your loved ones was controversial, and suddenly your kitchen became your office? Weddings were attended via zoom in sweatpants (not to mention rescheduled a thou...

In times of great tragedy, it seems impossible to find the right words to express the emotions erupting inside of you. The stages of grief are spinning, and your vocal cords become too tight to even open your mouth in attempt to speak. In times of great tragedy, of course it's hard to find the right words - because you never thought you'd have to search for them. You go through life expecting to wake up and find yourself right back in your daily routine. You expect to set plans and see them through. You expect to wake up and be able to call your mom on your way to work. You expect to come home after you leave your house. Day in and day out, you do the same thing over and over, and eventually you start taking days for granted as you expect to wake up each day and do it all again. But that's the thing - waking up tomorrow is not a guarantee. We get so used to doing it, that it's easy to dismiss and diminish the value of each day as we just expect another one tomorrow....

For almost two years, I just thought I had writers block. I would start to type, only to delete everything by the end of a few failed paragraphs. I would come here to try to weave together sentences about random things I wanted to talk about, but I couldn't. As a life-long writer with a degree in journalism, it was beyond frustrating. I had always been able to sit down at a computer and bang an essay out in no time, or figure out how to express my thoughts on whatever I was trying to communicate. I tried to write about things I cared deeply about; things like Iowa sports, challenging the status quo, people, etc. - but still, I came up blank.  Then it hit me. It wasn't writers block - it was depression. My last post on here, almost two years ago, was a very tough one for me to write. It was written a few weeks shy of a diagnosis I never thought I would have: depression. Months before that word entered into my vocabulary, I had been feeling a low I've never experienced...

I want to give a fair warning that this isn't my usual content. I'm very much a spreader of joy and good news and happiness- but I am also a human. And as it turns out, Maroon5 was right all along: it's not always rainbows and butterflies. So my friends, I share with you something incredibly personal, and honest. Please read on with the knowledge that my intent is not to be negative, or sad, or search for attention. Rather my intent is to write honestly and sincerely about my quest to turn my light back on. There are times in everyone's life where it feels as though the light is fading, and as if the darkness all around us encroaches with unstoppable force. I know I'm not alone in this feeling, but for me, accepting this is extremely hard to admit. Talking about (or writing about it) is even harder for me to do because I truly thought that if I convinced myself enough, there would be no bad days. But recently I've come to the conclusion that you don't know...

This week, I really only have one thing I wanted to write about - but first, I have to acknowledge all the women who marched this past weekend, and who took to the streets in masses to let the world know that we will NOT be silenced. As troubling as our world is, I'm extremely fortunate to live in this era where women's voices are louder than ever. The #TimesUp movement, the wage gap, and simple equality is bursting at the seams with millions of humans fighting the good fight to make this world a better, more equal place for all. As my friend Spence said in a drunken, but very sincere video, "Do you think women and men should be treated equal? Then you're a feminist. I'm a feminist. We should all be feminists". No truer words have been spoken my friend, we should all be feminists. I also want to say that as of a few hours ago, disgraced USA gymnastics doctor, Larry Nassar, has officially been silenced. He abused, molested, and destroyed the inno...

Look at me, back at it again for the second week?! It's like a whole new me. I'm still working on getting the 1st podcast up for the 2018 year, but hold tight- I foresee it happening this week (maybe). But lets focus on the here and now, and the things I've had thoughts on this week. MUSIC: I was scrolling through Facebook the other day when I came across an America's Got Talent audition. I've seen a few before, but I don't normally pay much attention to them. For some reason I let the video begin to play and by the end I was reaching for the tissues. It started out by a woman introducing herself, Mandy Harvey  (link to the whole video), and that she was there to sing. Judge Simon Cowell, asked who the person standing next to him was...to which Mandy replied, "That's my sign language interpreter". You see, Many lost her hearing 10 years ago, but she is still able to sing. Instead of hearing the sound, she feels it through the soles of her shoele...