Almost every day I find myself reading an article or listening to a song that is preaching body positivity, constantly reminding women that no matter your age, size, skin color, or religion that you're beautiful! I mean, hell yeah! I'm so on board with empowering women and our bodies- however, all the positive messages and lingo floating around is demolished the second a woman steps into a clothing store dressing room.
I've always been a short, curvier woman (except for that small stint where my gallbladder stopped working and I was rail thin due to sickness), and let me tell you something: finding clothing has never been an easy task. My body type has never been something that has been displayed on posters, or magazines, or sizes in stores. It's been a frustrating battle for as long as I can remember. From broad shoulders, a seemingly ever-growing chest (thanks so much birth control!!! Bras ain't cheap), flat stomach, wide hips, junk in my trunk and very strong thighs - it's pretty near impossible to find an item of clothing that can fit that entire check list. That's why if you take a peek into my closet, you'll find that I have multiples of the same pair of pants, shorts, and shirts in a variety of colors. Once I find something that fits, I buy it in every damn color. I've often told my mom, "I wish I had millions of dollars so I could hire someone to make clothing specifically for me. For my body." Too bad that kind of cash flow isn't really tangible, and that ideology is a little mucked up considering how many clothes and clothing stores there are in the world.
What you'll notice, is that when I was describing my body I never once said the word , "too", as if to compare my body to societal standards. This way of describing my body has not come easy. While growing up, in a world surrounded by long legged and beautiful friends, I found myself comparing. My legs were "too chubby", my height was "too short", my eyes are "too small". By now it's almost laughable, WHY would I ever feel the need to compare myself to someone who isn't me? I will never be them, they will never be me. I mean that's just biology and probably physics (idk I really didn't get physics). One of my favorite women, Tiny Fey says it best in her book Bossy Pants:
“Now every girl is expected to have Caucasian blue eyes, full Spanish lips, a classic button nose, hairless Asian skin with a California tan, a Jamaican dance hall ass, long Swedish legs, small Japanese feet, the abs of a lesbian gym owner, the hips of a nine-year-old boy, the arms of Michelle Obama, and doll tits. The person closest to actually achieving this look is Kim Kardashian, who, as we know, was made by Russian scientists to sabotage our athletes.”
She absolutely nails it. Think about it. If you're a woman you were raised in a society where having the above attributes were somehow obtainable. NEWSFLASH: they're not. You can workout until you puke, but you're legs wont grow 7 inches (unless you hit some weird growth spurt in your late 20s...weirder things have happened). You can use Nair all day long, you wont be hairless forever. It's genetics. It's the body you were given. Sure you can modify: eat healthy, work out, that stuff is great for you! Do it, I insist! However, don't look at a magazine or on Pinterest to find women with perfect bodies because that's not setting a goal- that's just setting yourself up for failure.
Do yourself a favor, as a woman, love your body. Every dimple, curve, "abnormality", love it all. When women support each other, the impossible is nothing. Instead of tearing down celebrities for gaining or losing weight, or your friends for wearing something you wouldn't...let them live! My favorite way to do this (in the way of Amy Poehler), "Good for her! not for me". What a concept! Empowering women for finding their own beauty, instead of punishing them for coloring outside the lines. When your gal friend insists on wearing 7 inch heels and a crop top, repeat the Amy Poehler motto.
In a world where we are constantly told what we should look like, with every changing beauty "rules" (how do you go from thin eye brows to bold in like a week, society?!). The funny thing is, the standard of beauty is constantly evolving. From Audrey, to Marilyn, to Twiggy, to Tyra...every decade brings a new "it" body to the scene. If we can learn one thing from this evolution, it's that there is no definition of the perfect look. If it's continually changing, meaning it's fleeting and unstable. So take a good hard look at yourself: unlike the beauty standards of right now, YOU are not fleeting.
So a note to every single designer in "fashion". STOP making people feel guilty for going a size up, or a size down. I'm so sick of having to try on multiple sizes because every store is different. I can range from a 8- 14 (looking at you Target). Thank goodness my mom taught me about self-confidence at a young age, because I'm pretty sure that can be damaging beyond belief. Young girls, the most susceptible to body image issues, are the one's in your malls...spending their allowance to "fit it" literally and figuratively. Clothing stores: Shame on you. Shame on you for making me feel fat- even though I know I am not. Shame on you for shrinking your sizes, and inflating our self-depreciating thoughts. No one should ever feel that way, because we are worth way more than any size on a tag, or store we shop in.
Ladies, communal support is long overdue. Reach out to someone who inspires you, pushes you, or just makes you happy to be around. We all could use a little reminder that we're each pretty freaking awesome.
Happy Friday!
I've always been a short, curvier woman (except for that small stint where my gallbladder stopped working and I was rail thin due to sickness), and let me tell you something: finding clothing has never been an easy task. My body type has never been something that has been displayed on posters, or magazines, or sizes in stores. It's been a frustrating battle for as long as I can remember. From broad shoulders, a seemingly ever-growing chest (thanks so much birth control!!! Bras ain't cheap), flat stomach, wide hips, junk in my trunk and very strong thighs - it's pretty near impossible to find an item of clothing that can fit that entire check list. That's why if you take a peek into my closet, you'll find that I have multiples of the same pair of pants, shorts, and shirts in a variety of colors. Once I find something that fits, I buy it in every damn color. I've often told my mom, "I wish I had millions of dollars so I could hire someone to make clothing specifically for me. For my body." Too bad that kind of cash flow isn't really tangible, and that ideology is a little mucked up considering how many clothes and clothing stores there are in the world.
What you'll notice, is that when I was describing my body I never once said the word , "too", as if to compare my body to societal standards. This way of describing my body has not come easy. While growing up, in a world surrounded by long legged and beautiful friends, I found myself comparing. My legs were "too chubby", my height was "too short", my eyes are "too small". By now it's almost laughable, WHY would I ever feel the need to compare myself to someone who isn't me? I will never be them, they will never be me. I mean that's just biology and probably physics (idk I really didn't get physics). One of my favorite women, Tiny Fey says it best in her book Bossy Pants:
“Now every girl is expected to have Caucasian blue eyes, full Spanish lips, a classic button nose, hairless Asian skin with a California tan, a Jamaican dance hall ass, long Swedish legs, small Japanese feet, the abs of a lesbian gym owner, the hips of a nine-year-old boy, the arms of Michelle Obama, and doll tits. The person closest to actually achieving this look is Kim Kardashian, who, as we know, was made by Russian scientists to sabotage our athletes.”
She absolutely nails it. Think about it. If you're a woman you were raised in a society where having the above attributes were somehow obtainable. NEWSFLASH: they're not. You can workout until you puke, but you're legs wont grow 7 inches (unless you hit some weird growth spurt in your late 20s...weirder things have happened). You can use Nair all day long, you wont be hairless forever. It's genetics. It's the body you were given. Sure you can modify: eat healthy, work out, that stuff is great for you! Do it, I insist! However, don't look at a magazine or on Pinterest to find women with perfect bodies because that's not setting a goal- that's just setting yourself up for failure.
Do yourself a favor, as a woman, love your body. Every dimple, curve, "abnormality", love it all. When women support each other, the impossible is nothing. Instead of tearing down celebrities for gaining or losing weight, or your friends for wearing something you wouldn't...let them live! My favorite way to do this (in the way of Amy Poehler), "Good for her! not for me". What a concept! Empowering women for finding their own beauty, instead of punishing them for coloring outside the lines. When your gal friend insists on wearing 7 inch heels and a crop top, repeat the Amy Poehler motto.
In a world where we are constantly told what we should look like, with every changing beauty "rules" (how do you go from thin eye brows to bold in like a week, society?!). The funny thing is, the standard of beauty is constantly evolving. From Audrey, to Marilyn, to Twiggy, to Tyra...every decade brings a new "it" body to the scene. If we can learn one thing from this evolution, it's that there is no definition of the perfect look. If it's continually changing, meaning it's fleeting and unstable. So take a good hard look at yourself: unlike the beauty standards of right now, YOU are not fleeting.
So a note to every single designer in "fashion". STOP making people feel guilty for going a size up, or a size down. I'm so sick of having to try on multiple sizes because every store is different. I can range from a 8- 14 (looking at you Target). Thank goodness my mom taught me about self-confidence at a young age, because I'm pretty sure that can be damaging beyond belief. Young girls, the most susceptible to body image issues, are the one's in your malls...spending their allowance to "fit it" literally and figuratively. Clothing stores: Shame on you. Shame on you for making me feel fat- even though I know I am not. Shame on you for shrinking your sizes, and inflating our self-depreciating thoughts. No one should ever feel that way, because we are worth way more than any size on a tag, or store we shop in.
Ladies, communal support is long overdue. Reach out to someone who inspires you, pushes you, or just makes you happy to be around. We all could use a little reminder that we're each pretty freaking awesome.
Happy Friday!
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