Manfull's Handfull

I'm sitting here on a Wednesday afternoon where, from my couch,  I am transfixed by the multicast view of the Olympics. A quadrant of screens take up the TV where a medal ceremony, men's basketball, skateboarding and a women's soccer game are all happening at the same time. Now, I've always been someone with a love of sports - and it wouldn't be out of the ordinary for me to watch multiple events at the same time, or maybe even grab a stealth peak of the ESPN app to check the score while at a wedding...but to have a quad screen up with multiple sports - even for me, that seems excessive. It got me thinking, what is it about the Olympics that continually captures my attention so fully I can not simply fathom picking ONE of these events to watch? The simple and most obvious answer is that it's fun to watch the world's best athletes compete against each other. You get the super teams, the living legends, the hometown heroes, the underdogs, the record holders - ...

Feels like a three year hiatus is long enough... Full disclosure, I had to literally google search my own blog name because I couldn't remember the correct full name, but here we are. What's meant to be will always find its way back to you (or you know, just google it).  The last three years, for most of us I can assume, have been... challenging. Life straight up came to an abrupt stop. We were fighting for rolls of toilet paper in the aisles of grocery stores while simultaneously trying to maintain six feet of distance from anyone not in our direct social circle. We were inundated with words like, "unprecedented", "mandate", "social distancing". We were forced to do things that made us feel almost alien. PPE became springs latest fashion accessory, Joe Exotic was a household name, hugging your loved ones was controversial, and suddenly your kitchen became your office? Weddings were attended via zoom in sweatpants (not to mention rescheduled a thou...

In times of great tragedy, it seems impossible to find the right words to express the emotions erupting inside of you. The stages of grief are spinning, and your vocal cords become too tight to even open your mouth in attempt to speak. In times of great tragedy, of course it's hard to find the right words - because you never thought you'd have to search for them. You go through life expecting to wake up and find yourself right back in your daily routine. You expect to set plans and see them through. You expect to wake up and be able to call your mom on your way to work. You expect to come home after you leave your house. Day in and day out, you do the same thing over and over, and eventually you start taking days for granted as you expect to wake up each day and do it all again. But that's the thing - waking up tomorrow is not a guarantee. We get so used to doing it, that it's easy to dismiss and diminish the value of each day as we just expect another one tomorrow....

For almost two years, I just thought I had writers block. I would start to type, only to delete everything by the end of a few failed paragraphs. I would come here to try to weave together sentences about random things I wanted to talk about, but I couldn't. As a life-long writer with a degree in journalism, it was beyond frustrating. I had always been able to sit down at a computer and bang an essay out in no time, or figure out how to express my thoughts on whatever I was trying to communicate. I tried to write about things I cared deeply about; things like Iowa sports, challenging the status quo, people, etc. - but still, I came up blank.  Then it hit me. It wasn't writers block - it was depression. My last post on here, almost two years ago, was a very tough one for me to write. It was written a few weeks shy of a diagnosis I never thought I would have: depression. Months before that word entered into my vocabulary, I had been feeling a low I've never experienced...

I want to give a fair warning that this isn't my usual content. I'm very much a spreader of joy and good news and happiness- but I am also a human. And as it turns out, Maroon5 was right all along: it's not always rainbows and butterflies. So my friends, I share with you something incredibly personal, and honest. Please read on with the knowledge that my intent is not to be negative, or sad, or search for attention. Rather my intent is to write honestly and sincerely about my quest to turn my light back on. There are times in everyone's life where it feels as though the light is fading, and as if the darkness all around us encroaches with unstoppable force. I know I'm not alone in this feeling, but for me, accepting this is extremely hard to admit. Talking about (or writing about it) is even harder for me to do because I truly thought that if I convinced myself enough, there would be no bad days. But recently I've come to the conclusion that you don't know...

This week, I really only have one thing I wanted to write about - but first, I have to acknowledge all the women who marched this past weekend, and who took to the streets in masses to let the world know that we will NOT be silenced. As troubling as our world is, I'm extremely fortunate to live in this era where women's voices are louder than ever. The #TimesUp movement, the wage gap, and simple equality is bursting at the seams with millions of humans fighting the good fight to make this world a better, more equal place for all. As my friend Spence said in a drunken, but very sincere video, "Do you think women and men should be treated equal? Then you're a feminist. I'm a feminist. We should all be feminists". No truer words have been spoken my friend, we should all be feminists. I also want to say that as of a few hours ago, disgraced USA gymnastics doctor, Larry Nassar, has officially been silenced. He abused, molested, and destroyed the inno...

Look at me, back at it again for the second week?! It's like a whole new me. I'm still working on getting the 1st podcast up for the 2018 year, but hold tight- I foresee it happening this week (maybe). But lets focus on the here and now, and the things I've had thoughts on this week. MUSIC: I was scrolling through Facebook the other day when I came across an America's Got Talent audition. I've seen a few before, but I don't normally pay much attention to them. For some reason I let the video begin to play and by the end I was reaching for the tissues. It started out by a woman introducing herself, Mandy Harvey  (link to the whole video), and that she was there to sing. Judge Simon Cowell, asked who the person standing next to him was...to which Mandy replied, "That's my sign language interpreter". You see, Many lost her hearing 10 years ago, but she is still able to sing. Instead of hearing the sound, she feels it through the soles of her shoele...

With the new year just kicking off, everyone is anticipating what the next 365 days will bring. Couldn't be worse than 2017, amirite? With this thought, I decided I would jump back on my computer and weekly(ish) write about the things I love, loathe, and have levitated toward that week. Not that anyone truly cares about my opinion, it's more of an open journal to share with the people of the interwebs. So, I bring to you what the start of 2018 has brought to me: 1. GRL PWR. If you've been living under a rock the past few months I suggest it's time you dig yourself out. We are living in a righteous time to be a female. The #MeToo and #TimesUp movement ran full force last night at the Golden Globes and if you didn't get emotional, or feel empowered, you have zero soul. In the wake of the heinous "discovery" that women are sexually harassed/abused by their "industry professionals" and that for years equal work has not received equal pay, there is...

We live in a world so dependent on the perception of those around us. We depend so heavily on the opinions of strangers, and strive for the heights of social acceptance. We are supposed to fit into these perfect square boxes that society has built for us- because fluidity and taboo terrify us. As a society we want to be able to look at someone and know their sexuality, their race, their class, their...life. But that simply isn't reality. Anyone can wear a mask or morph into who they're supposed to be that day- it takes a person who isn't afraid to break the status quo to change the status quo. We live in a world where being your true, authentic, flawed-filled self is usually frowned upon. Instead, we're encourage by society to present a perfect, photo-shopped version of who you really are. You're not supposed to be sad, or fat, or angry- you're supposed to be a happy, physically fit, and emotionally stable. Again, this simply isn't reality. Today- Sean ...

I started 13 Reasons why at the same time most everyone else started watching it- as soon as it was released on Netflix. But unlike most people, I just finished the final episode last night, over a month since its release. It's not that the show wasn't moving, enthralling, or heart-wrenching, because it was all that and more. I couldn't watch it all at once because it made me feel things I had so deeply shoved so far out of sight, I wasn't sure I could watch it all unfold in front of me again. I've never been in a state of mind where I contemplated not living any more- but I can say, as a woman, I have felt (on some level) the pain, embarrassment, and harassment as Hannah Baker. I vividly remember being objectified by boys in the high school hallway (hell- it still happens by random men on the street). I got comments on my body, unsolicited as I was walking to class. I got touched, and grabbed, and put in situations I still get uncomfortable thinking about tod...

I try (really, I do) to wake up happy, positive, and ready to kickass. However, this morning try as I might, I crawled out of bed already angry at the world. More specifically, angry at the guy in the parking lot who felt the need to "warm up" his diesel powered truck at 5:00am. First of all it's April- there is no need to warm up your truck. Second of all, the sun is not even up yet- so likely, neither are most of your neighbors. I asked the North Liberty police if this was illegal. Still waiting for a response. Then, as I'm taking my dog for our morning stroll- I wasn't anticipating, or prepared for, the cold gusts of wind, or that my beloved Podcast ( MyFavoriteMurder ) would stop working *turns out there was just a really long pause and I was just too angry to wait*. Needless to say- I was not happy, positive, or ready to kickass. I got back from my walk and realized that being angry is no way to start the day. So, I had to turn it around. I looked at my ...

You know what absolutely sucks? Being a young adult, forced into the real world where you no longer have the luxury of jumping on a plane to a warm destination for a week of nothing but boozing and beaching with your best friends; It sucks because 1. now you can't even remotely afford it financially and 2. Because you can't even remotely afford it work-wise. Life's a real toe-stubber sometimes, I tell ya. As much fun as I had scrolling through social media, living vicariously through all my friends still lucky enough to partake in spring break antics, I can assure you it would have been a little more enjoyable had I been on the other end of the screen. Alas- the 9-5 wins again. I spent a lot of time scrolling and wishing last week. Wishing I was splashing in an ocean. Wishing I had a cool drink in my hand. Wishing for warm weather- but worst of all I found myself "wishing" for the bodies I saw in the photos. I would stare in awe at these tiny little b...

There's no denying, or avoiding, the hostility within this great nation lately. There are divisions of opinions that have turned neighbors into enemies, and complete groups of people against one another. Maybe it makes me naïve, or stupid, but I genuinely think that if we all (collectively) start to find the positives  our lives will improve dramatically. I constantly see people all over social media actively pointing out the negative news headlines, flooding my timelines with sad images, thoughts, or facts. Please don't think I don't know that our nation, world, and future is/are unstable. I know that, I understand it, and I hate it. However, instead of fermenting the ideas and the negativity, I am going to chose happiness. I found that the more I dwelled on the toxic news, the worse my view on life became. I also see people out there fighting everyday, whether it's protesting, promoting, or informing- they're making the world better because they're figh...

Like most people in the world I greeted the New Year with a few "resolutions". I use the term resolutions very lightly because I never actually wrote them down, or verbalized them because I have a tendency to forgo the whole idea in a matter of weeks and I loathe admitting defeat...but, in an effort to at least say I tried to follow through, here I am. I often get so caught up in life that I put my passions and hobbies on the back burner. As birthday girl Betty White said, " I think everybody needs a passion. Whether it's one passion or a hundred, that's what keeps life interesting ". And if Betty White said it, you can be darn sure I'll abide by it. Which leads me back to the main point ("resolution", if you must), finding time for my passions. I love to write, and as hard as I try to blog on a regular basis, I let life get in the way. But why should I be putting the things that make me the happiest aside? Seems a little counter productive if ...

For the first time in 108 years the Chicago Cubs are in the World Series. Chicago Cubs and World Series haven't been tied together in a sentence for over a CENTURY. Obviously people are losing their minds, and draining their bank accounts to be a part of history-- and I don't blame them one bit. The thing about this is- until very recently I couldn't have cared less about the MLB, or the Cubs in general. I could name a handful of Cubbies, and maybe throw around some general knowledge...but a fan? absolutely not. All I knew was that Kris Bryant was a hottie, and Anthony Rizzo was a cancer-beating badass teddy-bear. But I couldn't help but take notice the second the Cubs started their post-season journey. There's something about a team being so lovable, even in the face of a century of disappointing losses, that really resonates with me as a life-long Hawkeye fan. There is something so captivating watching the fans come out of hibernation, flood the streets, and...